


First Night

by warmspringrain



Series: Aftermath [2]
Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-01
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-08-18 19:12:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8172742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/warmspringrain/pseuds/warmspringrain
Summary: Shame settles over Erin like a blanket, and she looks down at her lap, twisting her hands. “I’m so sorry.” She can see both Holtzmann and Patty turning to look at her in her periphery vision, but her eyes stay glued to her lap as she swallows and adds, “I should have been there.”





	

Erin loses track of the movie, instead caught up in watching over Abby, who fell asleep before the house had even touched land again. She doesn’t really mean to, doesn’t even noticing for a while that she’s doing it. It’s just still so hard to believe that everything that has happened in the past few days is real. Watching Abby grounds Erin. She’s still here. After all they’ve been through, she’s still here. They’re all still here.

Shaking herself slightly, Erin turns to look at her other partners in crime and finds, to her small surprise, that they’re all looking in the same direction. Caught, the three of them share quiet smiles. Patty reaches for the remote to turn the volume down on the movie as Erin moves to gently cover Abby with a blanket. Taking her seat again, she murmurs, “How long do you think she’ll sleep for?”

Holtzmann shrugs from her seat on the floor, moving to lean back against the couch in front of Patty. “Til the medication wears off, most likely.”

Patty reaches down to brush a hand across the top of Holtzmann’s head. “You should get some rest too, baby. You’ve had a long day.”

Holtzmann shakes her head slightly, eyes still on the tv. “Not tired. And we’ve all had a long day.”

“Holtzmann?” Erins voice is small, unsure. “What happened to your neck?” She isn’t sure she should be asking now, when everything is gentle and quiet, but she needs to know. She had let it go earlier, when they’d all gotten home from the hospital and were trying to find some new level of normal. But Abby’s reaction had scared her, and she’s starting to worry that if she doesn’t find out soon, no one will ever tell her.

Holtzmann freezes, eyes too large, and Erin’s terrified that she’s made the wrong call, that she never should have said anything. Beside her, Patty tenses as well, her hand stilling on Holtzmann’s hair, but she stays silent.  

The silence draws out until finally, just as Erin’s opening her mouth to apologize, take everything back and pretend it never happened, Holtzmann speaks. “Rowan. It—he—” she swallows, the scarf around her neck bobbing, then continues. “You saw Kevin?” She doesn’t look away from the screen but waits for Erin to nod before resuming. “He—he went for Abby first.” Holtzmann’s fists clench, her eyes squeezing shut, and Erin’s stomach drops.

“He tried to use her to destroy our gear,” Patty adds, laying a hand on Holtzmann’s shoulder. “Holtzy tried to stop her, and Abby—Rowan—tried to drop her out the window.”

“If Patty hadn’t grabbed me, I woulda been toast,” Holtzmann opens her eyes and takes up the narrative again, trying a lopsided grin that doesn’t reach her eyes. “You should of seen her; fighting her—him—off with one hand, keeping me from falling with the other. Didn’t even drop me when Abby’s head did a full one-eighty.”

“Yeah, that was freaky as hell, by the way,” Patty mutters, shaking her head.

Erin shoves that image into the pile of other things she can’t bear to think about right now. Data analysis can happen later. But to do that, she needs to collect the data first. “How did she fight him off? Rowan wound up just letting Kevin go.”

Holtzmann’s grin is closer to normal this time. “Patty slapped him out of her.”

“She—I’m sorry, what?”

“Yeah, like—wha-bam!” Holtzmann demonstrates, slapping her right hand against her upright left hand, held mere inches from her face. “Right across her face! Apparently Rowan could dish it out but couldn’t take it. Really, no surprises there. One slap and he was running like the little scared ghost he was.” The grin fades and Holtzmann winces. “Of course, he ran straight outside to Kevin. And, well, you saw how that went.”

Erin had. Shame settles over her like a blanket, and she looks down at her lap, twisting her hands. “I’m so sorry.” She can see both Holtzmann and Patty turning to look at her in her periphery vision, but her eyes stay glued to her lap as she swallows and adds, “I should have been there.”

It’s silent for a moment and Erin is trying to think of the fastest way she can grab her things and duck out when Holtzmann’s voice breaks the silence. “You were there when it mattered.” Startled, Erin looks up. Holtzmann is turned to face Erin, her relaxed pose belied by the intense look in her eyes.

Overwhelmed, Erin shuts her eyes. She tries not to cry and fails miserably. “But if I—”

There’s a warm arm around her shoulders as Patty scooches next to her on the couch. “You don’t know what would have happened, baby. You could have just gotten hurt too for all we know. Look, each of us has stuff in our head that we’re stuck with, telling ourselves that we could have done differently, but in the end what happened is what happened. And Holtzy’s right; you were there when we needed you.” Patty squeezes a little tighter before adding, as if she’s just thought of it, “Hell, if you had been there earlier, who would have gotten us out from under that balloon?”

Erin sniffles. “I guess.” She opens her eyes and gratefully accepts a tissue from Holtzmann, wishing it was as easy as just believing her friends, wishing her brain would just shut up. She blows her nose as she tries to stop crying, stop thinking. _I still should have been there. I could have done something, anything. I should have_ —

“You got her out of the portal.”

Erin, startled, looks up and meets Holtzmann’s burning gaze. “Abby got pulled into another dimension and you followed her in and pulled her back out. Patty and I didn’t do that.”

Patty shudders, muttering something Erin can’t quite catch about “world full of nightmares.”

Holtzmann nods, snap-pointing at Patty without looking away from Erin. “Right, that. The point is, Gilbert, I think we’re all pretty much even at this point.”

Erin can’t think of anything to say to that. Even her brain is finally quiet. Finally, as if in a daze, she nods, giving Holtzmann a small, grateful smile. Holtzmann winks at her before launching herself back onto the pillows she’s somewhat lumped together on the floor. “Glad that’s settled. Wouldn’t want to miss out on how this old man is gonna deal with the fire baby who can shoot lasers from his eyes.”

“That’s the wrong Pixar movie, Holtzy. There aren’t any babies in this one,” Patty tries, but Holtzmann just makes a rude noise and mutters something indistinguishable, flapping her hand in Patty’s general direction without turning away from the movie. Patty shakes her head, then gives Erin one last squeeze before moving back to her side of the couch. Her face lights up when she sees what character is on screen. “Oh man, this dog is the dumbest! He’s like a furrier version of Kevin!”

~*~

When the movie ends and Abby’s still asleep, Holtzmann and Erin insist that Patty sleep in Abby’s room, arguing that someone should get to sleep in a real bed. Erin helps Holtzmann add their sleeping bags to her assortment of pillows until Holtzmann declares it a suitable nest and lays down to sleep with a blanket all the way over her head. Erin shakes her head fondly as she grabs her own blanket and curls up to sleep on the couch. Even with the kitchen light left on, Erin is asleep in minutes.

She’s woken about an hour later by Abby’s pained whimpers. Before she’s even fully awake or upright Holtzmann has bolted to the kitchen table to grab the medicine and some water. Erin blinks at the clock and winces. She grabs Holtzmann’s arm as she’s rushing back to Abby. “Holtz, wait. We have to wait another half hour before she can have the next dose.”

Abby whimpers even louder. Holtzmann looks between the two of them, her eyes huge in the half light.

Erin reaches out and grabs one of Abby’s hands. “Abby, I’m so sorry. I know that you’re in a lot of pain right now and I know that this is hard but we’ve got to wait. Just another half an hour and then you can have more, okay?”

Abby’s squeezes her hand, and even in the shadowy light Erin can see that she’s in tears. “It... really…hurts…”

Erin nods as Holtzmann sets the glass and medicine down on an end table and takes Abby’s other hand. “I know. But listen. Holtz and I are going to stay with you the whole time, okay? And you can squeeze our hands as much as you need to. And the second that the time is up, these pills are all yours, okay?”

Holtzmann starts singing, silly nonsense songs, and Erin uses her free hand to stroke Abby’s hair. As the minutes slowly tick by Abby’s whimpers increase and she begins to cry harder, nearly sobbing for the medicine. Erin keeps up a steady stream of whispered apologies and encouragements as Holtzmann keeps singing. It feels like the longest thirty minutes of Erin’s life but finally, _finally_ the numbers on the clock turn one last time and Holtzmann leaps for the pills and glass. Abby swallows eagerly, and they stay on either side of her until they can see the pain receding, the tension in her face easing. Erin keeps holding Abby’s hand and stroking her hair while Holtzmann’s silly songs change to lullabies, the undercurrent of panic no longer in her voice. Finally, Abby’s breaths even and her body relaxes. Erin and Holtzmann don’t move for a few minutes, making sure she’s fully asleep before gently pulling away.

Erin watches Holtzmann as she rearranges her sleeping bag nest. “Hey. Thanks.”

Holtzmann nods, not looking up. She’s quiet for a moment, then asks, “So how long does the medication last for, usually?”

Erin winces. “Patty said that the doctor said it would vary, but insisted that she can only take it every four hours. There were some pretty strict instructions from the pharmacist too when I picked them up and read over all of the paperwork that came with it.”

Holtzmann nods down at her cocoon before curling up with her back to the couch, blanket once again pulled over her head. Erin sighs quietly as she lays down again, pulling her own blanket up to her chin.

Three hours and twenty minutes later it happens all over again, the second time just as hellish for all three of them as the first. In the greyish light cast from the kitchen, Erin can see that Holtzmann’s shaking as they go to lie down after Abby’s fallen asleep once more, her back once again to Erin. “Holtz?” Erin whispers uncertainly.

There’s no answer as Holtzmann curls tighter on herself, blanket left forgotten at her feet. Without thought, Erin is kneeling behind her, a hand on her shoulder. “Holtz? Are you okay?” She’s startled to discover that Holtzmann’s crying, silent tears tracking down her cheek.

In the morning, Erin will wonder about her forwardness; will second-guess and overanalyze her actions, the same way she always does. But in the dark of an emotionally exhausting night she doesn’t think. She just grabs her pillow from the couch, makes a space for herself in Holtzmann’s nest on the floor, and lays down behind her, wrapping a steadying arm around the other woman’s chest. She doesn’t try to say anything, knowing that there aren’t any words that she could possibly say. She just holds Holtzmann while she cries, until the small engineer quiets; until her breaths, like Abby’s, steady and slow. Unable to fall back asleep herself, Erin lays beside Holtzmann and keeps silent watch over both her and Abby as dawn slowly breaks.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is not beta-ed; all mistakes are my own. 
> 
> Part three is in the works but not finished yet; Patty's perspective is coming up next.


End file.
